How to Sleep: 3 First Lessons

How do you learn how to sleep better? What do you need to know to make sense of the insane amount of information online about how to sleep?

It’s a lot, isn’t it? Tips, drinks, mattresses, machines, pills, gurus, and gadgets… Where are you supposed to start?

I’m hoping that you’ll start here, on this site, and that you’ll find the information it provides helpful.

Hi, I’m Scott, and I’ve created this website to organize and summarize all the information I’m learning about getting better sleep, and to be a resource to jumpstart your personal journey into healthy, restful, energizing sleep.

3 “First Lessons” About Sleep

I believe that there are three general things you need to know about sleep before you start running around the Internet searching for quick fixes to your insomnia or your sleepy, sluggish days.

Being aware of these concepts will put you in the proper mindset for analyzing the tons of information you find online in a way that will help you get good sleep for the rest of your life.

In my previous post categorizing all the things that help you sleep, I do my best to list all the various products, services, foods, gadgets, habits, and so forth that have the potential to help us find blissful, restful sleep.

In this post, however, I’m going to tell you 3 of the foundational lessons I learned that helped me to make sense of all the stuff that’s packed into that last post. (I probably should have written this one first.) They are:

1. Sleep is not the same as being unconscious
2. Sleep happens in Cycles
3. Good sleep can be prepared for in advance

1) Sleep Is Not Simply “Being Unconscious”

When we equate sleep with “unconsciousness”, we’ll do or consume just about anything just to be able to shut off our minds and bodies so that we can drift off and get through the night.

We might drink alcohol, indulge in marijuana, take sleeping pills or other drugs, watch TV, scroll through junk videos on our favorite social media feed, or stuff our bellies with something that will make us happy and relaxed.

The problem with these strategies is that, while they help us to sort of check out mentally and pass out into unconsciousness, they mess with the intricate process that is Sleep.

So, what is sleep? Well, it’s more than just “rest” — it’s restoration: Restoring our bodies and minds to their proper, healthily functioning state.

Sleep Is An Important and Complex Biological Process

Sleep isn’t some sort of “time out” from our busy lives, just so we can have some energy to get back to work the next day. It’s actually quite a sophisticated and intricate restorative process that our bodies go through for renewal and healing. It’s a crucial part of our overall health.

During sleep, our bodies repair tissues, consolidate memories and solidify lessons learned, and regulate hormones that control everything from growth to hunger.

So, quite the opposite of the idea that sleep is your body “at rest,” it’s actually in an extremely active state that is integral to your body’s (and brain’s) ability to function optimally, adapt to stress, and maintain a healthy and balanced condition.

Don’t knock yourself out…

As I started to say above, while you might be tempted to think a nightcap is your ally in chasing those Z’s, it turns out that alcohol, and similar ‘sleep aids’ are actually pretty disruptive to the restoration we’re supposed to get when we sleep.

And other activities we gravitate toward to wind down for sleep — like scrolling through social media, or binge-watching shows — might help us feel relaxed and pass out, but they don’t support the kind of sleep that refreshes and repairs, and can mess with the cycles and stages of sleep.

That’s next…

2) Sleep Happens in Cycles

The common idea of how sleep works is that we close our eyes, we drift off and fall asleep, and then we stay like that until we wake up several hours (or minutes) later.

So, we figure that the longer we stay asleep, the better it is for us. Right?

Wrong. Or, at least, not quite.

Lemme ask you something:
You ever wonder why some mornings you wake up feeling refreshed, while other days you struggle to drag yourself out of bed? And, you’re sure you slept for about the same amount of time?

Or, better yet, how about this one:

Have you ever woken up groggy, and you were absolutely sure that it was because you slept too long?

You were probably right, and understanding Sleep Cycles can explain that…

‘Round and ‘Round We Go…

Here’s the deal: Sleep is not a single, uniform state. It’s a dynamic process made up of 4 different stages, each playing a different and unique role in restoring your body and mind.

We progress through the stages from lighter levels of sleep to deeper levels:

1. Stage 1 (Light Sleep): This is the initial transition phase where you drift in and out of sleep. It’s easy to wake up (or be easily awakened) during this stage.
2. Stage 2 (Deeper Light Sleep): Here, your body starts to relax, your body temperature drops, and your heart rate slows down. You spend the most time in this stage during the night.
3. Stage 3 (Deep Sleep): Often referred to as “slow-wave” sleep, this is the stage where your body does most of its physical repair work. This stage typically begins about 35-45 minutes after falling asleep. Waking up during this stage can leave you feeling groggy and disoriented.
4. Stage 4 or “REM Sleep” (Rapid Eye Movement): At this stage your brain activity picks up, resembling that of being awake—this is the stage where vivid dreaming occurs. REM sleep is crucial for cognitive functions like memory consolidation, mood regulation, and learning.

Each of these stages is essential, and we have to go through ALL of them for good sleep. Once we get through that fourth stage of REM Sleep, our bodies transition back to Stage 1, and we go through it all over again!

Together, these 4 stages make up one Sleep Cycle, and it lasts about 90 minutes. Obviously, we’ll go through anywhere from 3-6 of these on a “good” night of sleep.

Oh, and did you see the secret about how you can sleep “too long”? Look again at Stage 3.

If you wake up during Stage 3, you are not going to feel rested. That means, if you sleep past those first two “Light Sleep” stages, you miss your optimal waking time, and will likely wake up feeling crappy.

Can you see how this can help with your sleep planning?

Let’s say you’re taking a nap. To wake up feeling refreshed rather than groggy, aim to wake up at the end of a 90-minute cycle, or before the Stage 3 Deep Sleep kicks in. So, plan naps that are either a full sleep cycle (90 minutes) or just a quick 20-25 minute power nap to avoid interrupting deep sleep.

The same goes for your bedtime and wake time. Try to set your morning alarm so that it wakes you after a specific number of those 90-minute intervals — when you are in the lighter stage of sleep — and gives you enough time to prepare for your day. You might want to count backwards from your usual wake time to set your bedtime.

THIS is why one of the best things you can do for your sleep is go to bed at the same time every night. You assure you get up at the right time of the day, after completing your latest sleep cycle, feeling refreshed, rested, and restored.

Which leads me to our third and last lesson…

*(Read more here.)

3) You Must Proactively Plan for Healthy Sleep

I know. I also think it seems crazy that we should have to plan for and schedule something that should be the easiest and most natural thing in the world to do!

But, in modern day society, we don’t quite live “natural” lives.

Life’s demands put us out of sync with our natural rhythms, and we need to make a point to take back control of our health for our own well-being.

That’s the important lesson I want you to take away here: that you have control. You don’t have to settle for bad sleep, and you can turn it around.

So, now you know that sleep is more than just ‘checking out’ for the night, and that it’s broken down into cycles & stages that determine the quality of our rest. That should be enough to convince you that making even the most basic plan for good sleep is a good idea.

And that’s all I’m going to give you here — some basics.

Please keep in mind that you don’t have to do ALL of them. One or two might be all you need to improve the quality of your sleep and your life exponentially.

And don’t worry about achieving perfection from the get-go. You may have to experiment and do a bit of your own research to find the right mix. What’s important here is that you’re making conscious choices and taking steps towards improving your sleep as a pillar or foundation of your health.

Sleep Plan Basics to Consider:

Here are just a few subjects to consider (and to research) while making your Sleep Plan:

1. Create a Consistent Sleep Schedule: Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps regulate your body’s internal clock, making it easier to fall asleep and wake up naturally. The consistency signals your body when it’s time to regularly produce sleep hormones and prepare itself for the restorative processes of sleep.
2. Establish a Relaxing Bedtime Routine: Aside from a regular sleep schedule, you can set up a regular nightly routine to signal your body and mind to unwind and prepare for sleep. Engage in one or more calming activities before bed, such as reading, gentle stretching, or taking a warm bath or shower.
3. Optimize Your Sleep Environment: Your bedroom should be set up to support your sleep. This goes beyond having a comfortable mattress and pillow. Other ideal conditions are that it is cool, dark, and quiet. You might consider blackout curtains, earplugs, or a white noise machine to help create those conditions in your sanctuary for sleeping.
4. Be Mindful of What You Eat and Drink Before Bed: Heavy meals, caffeine, and as I said before, alcohol can disrupt your sleep cycles if you consume them close to bedtime. These can interfere with your sleep by making it harder to fall asleep or stay asleep through the night. Instead, choose something like a light snack or a soothing tea, or something else light and calming that resonates with you, if you need a little something before hitting the sack.
5. Stay Active During the Day: Regular exercise or physical activity can help you fall asleep faster and promote those deeper sleep cycles. It’s better to do it in the earlier parts of your day — that burst of energy from vigorous exercise too close to bedtime can have the opposite effect, and keep you up.

My Personal Example

Just to give you an example of what I’ve done and do regularly to set myself up for a regular good night’s sleep, here’s my personal sleep routine:

1. About 90 minutes before bed, I turn down the lights — not completely off, just dim enough to signal to my brain and body that it’s night time, and to start winding down.
2. Then, I start tying up loose ends of the day: write final emails, washing dishes, setting up things for the next day. This gives me some peace of mind at the end of the day so that thoughts of “unfinished business” don’t keep me up.
3. About 45-60 minutes before bed, I take a hot shower. The body reacts to the high temperature of a hot shower or bath by attempting to cool itself down — thus beginning the process of reducing body temperature for sleep.
4. I drink a little mixture of collagen peptides with a spoonful of honey. This insures my body has some of the basic nutrition and calories it need to do it’s job while I’m sleeping, and that I don’t wake up hungry.
5. However many minutes are left before bed, I’ll spend them reading, journalling, or meditating. Just something to relax my mind.
6. At bedtime, I enter the bedroom and close my blackout curtains. I find that the darker the room, the easier it is for me to relax and fall asleep. I then get into bed, relax, and let sleep come get me.

These are just a few things I learned and incorporated into my personal routine because they work for me. Other things that didn’t work for me might work for you. Each one of us is different. So, it’s important to experiment, track your progress, keep what works, and toss out the things that don’t.

Lessons Learned

As you can see from that last section, there are a lot of lessons to be learned about sleep. These are just the three that were the most helpful for me, in putting learning how to sleep into better context.

I hope this post was helpful in your journey towards learning how to get a better night’s rest.

Now, it’s your turn…

What are the most important lessons you’ve learned about getting better sleep? Do you have your own personal recipe for sleep that you can share with the community? Any questions that this post has sparked that you would like answers to? Please post your comments and questions below!

Here’s to getting the rest of your life! Thanks for reading,

~ Scott